Fall
by drivenbyrevenge
Summary: Alice lost the battle with the jabberwocky and died. Underland keeps falling and so does the hatter, into the abyss of his madness, he's trapped in his own mind with only a few blurry memories of his beloved Alice.Can he ever accept that she's gone?
1. Red Queen Rising

Falling

One: Red Queen Rising

**A/N: Hello my faithful minions. Apologies for not updating my other stories and hello to anyone who doesn't know who I am (if that is you then you have most probably been residing under a carpet). I do not own AIW yet but I'm working on it. **

**This is my first AIW fanfic but I've written for Sweeney Todd and Pokémon (which you would know if you hadn't been living under that carpet!) Enjoy the story and don't be afraid to give constructive criticism, after all, it makes me a better writer. Oh, and as with all my other fics **_**italics **_**represent the person's thoughts. **

Tarrant tried to focus on the red knave with whom he was locked in battle but his emerald gaze kept flickering up to Alice, who was losing frightfully to the imposing jabberwocky.

Stayne brought the blade of his sword up and it crashed with Tarrant's, instinctively the latter mirrored the move quickly giving himself the upper hand…but he wasn't worried about Stayne, it was the jabberwock he feared.

With a sneer Ilosovic smoothly swung his weapon, aiming for Tarrant's chest. The hatter blocked the manoeuvre but still his heart wasn't in it and his mind was somewhere else.

His mind was on HER.

He stole a quick glance, still continuing the fight without looking.

She was atop the crumbling staircase with the jabberwocky fearfully close. He watched her golden hair fly around her face as she swung the vorpal sword to kill the jabberwocky.

Despite its massive size the beast was surprisingly nimble and managed to dodge each of her swings.

A clang shook the hatter back to reality as the knave's sword glided through the air and collided with Tarrant's left arm, shredding his jacket and slicing through the skin.

Tarrant looked down at ruby-like blood oozing from the deep gash in his arm but ignored it and kept fighting, getting the knave in the shoulder.

It seemed everyone had turned up to participate in what would be the most important day of Underland's history, All around he could hear the smashing of weapons as the red queen's enslaved army worked against the white queen's noble servants.

Even his friends were fighting for the freedom of Underland. Except Mc Twisp who had, of course, fainted.

Alice was still locked in the battle which would decide the fate of Underland. The lumbering yet somehow graceful creature snapped at her, each time getting a little closer.

The hatter blocked another of Stayne's moves without taking his eyes from Alice. She brought the vorpal sword up, trying to relieve the Jabberwocky of its head from below…but it wasn't good enough.

Tarrant could plainly see that the sword had barely pierced the Jabberwocky's scaly armoured skin.

_Although…perhaps Alice may still have a chance…_

He hoped and grimaced at the idea of her losing.

The jabberwocky knocked over the blonde heroin with its giant talons. The Hatter flinched as Stayne's sword swiped through his side tearing open the clothing and skin, sliding through the flesh, just as it had on his, now throbbing, arm.

He looked down to his side at crimson blood soaking into his faded jacket.

If he'd looked, Tarrant would've seen that Alice had pulled herself back up and was fighting again.

She was shaken and scared but kept an insistent grip on the vorpal sword, saying to herself over and over again, "Six impossible things, six impossible things…"

The jabberwocky lashed out but Alice managed to dodge it, buying herself a little more time, time that could be the difference between the Red Queen continuing her treacherous rain and the White Queen saving Underland from destruction.

Alice looked down, worriedly. Both armies were falling fast, two teams stuck in a battle that only one would win…and there would be no second best…no consolation prize.

She noticed that the jabberwocky was no-where to be found. _Where is it? Maybe it gave up…No, it wouldn't. Still, I can't see it anywhe—_

With a thundering roar the Jabberwocky swooped down over Alice. It turned and landed in front of her.

The hatter almost lost grip of his sword when the infamous monster above the battle field screeched, releasing an amazing stream of electric, purple breath, that practically shook the earth.

He swallowed back his worry and let the glowing fire return to his eyes. With a little too much enthusiasm he laughed in a voice that wasn't his own and watched as his sword flicked quickly around the knave's with a 'clack'.

Alice had only just managed to jump behind an ancient pillar after the jabberwocky's last stream of deadly breath. She steadied herself and brandished the vorpal sword, slashing it through the dense air.

Alice closed her eyes as she felt the silvery blade slip through flesh. She opened her eyes in triumph but the sword had only gone through one of the jabberwocky's legs…and it had no effect other than making the creature just a little more annoyed. It roared and knocked her down with its gnarled claws.

Tarrant's eyes shot up and he saw the vorpal sword fly from Alice's grip and land with a clatter at least 10metres away from her.

Stayne snorted something about incapable children and the hatter felt his opponent's sword slash through the snowy skin of his neck. Tarrant whipped his sword around and forced the knave to the ground.

He put his hand to his neck. Blood. It wasn't deep though, not threatening…just painful.

Above them Alice cried out in fear as the jabberwocky snarled and snapped in her general direction. Tarrant shifted the grip on his sword and prepared to force it through the, now shivering, Ilosovic Stayne.

The knave whimpered when he saw that the hatter's usually emotionless face had turned to a canvas for vengeance. Tarrant shakily sucked in a breath of dusty air through his gritted teeth and prepared to kill.

His eyes turned from clouded amber marbles and back to cool glassy green pools when he heard her scream.

That scream…of pain and disbelief

The scream that would haunt him for ever more…

The scream he knew he'd hear echoing through the back of his mind for the rest of his life.

Without moving he watched her fall to the ground.

He heard nothing but the crash as she hit the dirt.

He let his sword fall to the ground when a look of triumph came over the Red Queen's pointy face.

He didn't see the armies drop their weapons, he didn't see the little Tweedles burst into tears, he didn't Mallymkun finally give in or the hare become silenced by realisation.

He didn't see Mirana fall to the ground, devastated and in defeat.

All he saw was her, an Alice shaped heap wrapped in silvery armour, with her corn silk hair framing her face, at the other side of the battle field.

Leaving Stayne where he was, The Mad Hatter ran to Alice's side.

An ecstatic smile came over his face when he saw she was somehow still alive.

"ALICE!" He yelled half crying, half laughing.

"Hatter?" She looked up, eyes blurry.

Tarrant's eyes grew wide when he saw a thick trickle of scarlet blood escaping from between her armour.

He knelt beside her and gently wiped blood from the side of her cool mouth.

Somewhere behind him the Red Queen squealed in delight, "I WON! I WON! I WON!" Tarrant certainly didn't look when she grabbed Stayne and started dancing around in manic circles with him still giggling madly, "I WON! SHE LOST!"

Alice blinked, it was a difficult task…her eyelids felt heavy, like lead, "Hatter…I'm sorry…"

Tarrant didn't hesitate, "Alice…you were perfect…we couldn't ask for a better saviour."

"But I didn't save you…I failed." She croaked, softly.

"Still, you tried your hardest…we can't complain about that,"

Alice barely felt the hatter's hand take her numb one and slip its fingers through hers.

"I'll miss you, and everyone…" she put her free hand to her stomach, she probably didn't have much time left.

"I'll miss you too Alice," Tarrant understated, already missing her.

"Oh…Hatter…it hur—" She coughed up blood and let a few tears escape her eyes.

Tarrant, too, felt a tear trickle down his gaunt, white face at the sight of his Alice hurt.

"Please, don't go…" He murmured, "I waited so long for you…"

She trembled as he tucked her hair away from her pale face.

"You found your muchness Alice," Hatter smiled.

"Huh?" She frowned, still clutching her wound.

"You'd lost it, remember? Sometime, when you were up there in battle your found it again…your much muchier now…than you were before…because you believed in yourself and gave your everything for Underland."

Alice giggled, "Promise me, you won't forget me,"

Tarrant's face turned sombre, "I could never forget you Alice…never."

Alice stayed silent for what seemed like an age and Tarrant could vaguely hear the Red Queen saying to The White Queen, "Now, little sister, I believe you've been put to your place, the one beneath me, where you were before…"

Mirana opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out.

"Hatter..." Alice found it a chore to just utter his name.

The hatter bent his head, "It wasn't meant to be like this…I wanted you to stay in Underland with me…forever…it just wasn't meant to end like this. WE weren't meant to end like this…"

"I'll never forget you, Hatter," She let her hands go limp as the bloods flow eased.

"Fairfarren, Alice," He kissed her cold lips and watched the life flicker away from her eyes.

He stroked her cheek, softly, neatened her hair a little and closed her eyelids.

"Fairfarren, Alice," He repeatedly, shakily, trying to realise that she was gone, his Alice was gone.

His Alice Kingsleigh was dead.

**A/N: I hope you liked it. Just so you know, I have a habit of threatening to not upload until I get a certain number of reviews, watch out for that. If you listen to Last Day on Earth while reading this then you'll probably cry, try it, tell me if it worked :D**

**Read and Review please.**


	2. Wounds

Fall

Two: Wounds

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You guys rock my socks!**

**I still don't own AIW, but having Johnny Depp in my wardrobe is a bonus :D (Jealous, much?)**

Tarrant vaguely felt Mirana and Mc Twisp pulling him from his knees, where he was by Alice's side.

The battle had been over hours ago. The Red Queen, the Jabberwock, her army and Stayne were gone…but Tarrant couldn't move.

He couldn't leave her.

Mirana, was still in tears after the results of the battle and watching silent tears race down her friend's lonely expression was only making her feel worse.

She pulled him up to his feet.

Tarrant brushed her off once he was standing, keeping his eyes on Alice.

"Tarrant, come on," Mirana whispered.

"Alice…"He mumbled down at the body, he'd been holding in his arms.

"Was amazingly good to us, now let's go!" Said the rabbit getting shifty around the dead body, already.

Mirana put an arm over Tarrant's shoulder and began to lead him away.

He shrugged off the arm and bent down. Mc Twisp wanted to question what he was doing, but knew better than to disturb him.

The Hatter took off his hat and picked up Alice in his arms, while still holding his hat. He felt his lip quiver from the pain inside when Alice's cold, dead hand brushed against his.

He couldn't feel the bloody wounds he'd been left with…well, not the wounds on his flesh at least. The wound in his heart was aching, and refusing to subside.

Mc Twisp and Mirana rode on her horse by the broken man's side as he carried Alice to Marmoreal to be rested.

Tarrant wasn't really sure how long it took…he didn't mind really, the long walk just meant that he could hold her in his arms for that much longer.

He looked down on her, her eyes were closed from when he'd flicked them shut, closing the windows on a life that'd been so short, the life of the person that'd been the only one to trip him up from this disaster and reach in and tap into his soul…only to break his heart.

She looked so peaceful…almost as if she was only sleeping, just an angel in his arms, an angel, that only needed her wings to be fixed before she would flex them out again and fly before him.

He longed to shake her, scream at her and tell her to wake up. He longed to watch her sleepily open her eyes, smile that beautiful smile and reach out for his hand…but she didn't.

She just laid there in his arms, dead….gone.

They reached Marmoreal at sunrise. Everything turned to a blur, someone took Alice from his arms, and then someone led him to a bowl of soup. He didn't eat. Sometime after that, someone…Thackery probably, led him to a bed room, where he'd been sitting in a blue and white armchair with an untouched pot of tea in front of him, ever since.

He only started to react when a squeaking noise disrupted him from the nightmarish memory that plagued his brain.

"'atter!"Squealed Mallymkun.

"Mally?" He looked down.

"Hatter…" She repeated and frowned at him.

He gave her a questioning look.

"Get up!" She prodded him with her sword, "Everyone's getting healed. You're hurt."

"Hurt," He played the word around in his mind…trying to remember a time when he'd been hurt like this.

He let himself follow the dormouse out to the gardens where hundreds of soldiers and supporters where laying wounded, some covered in blood, some only with bruises, each of them scarred inside…but none as much as Tarrant.

He was told to sit on a white chair under a gazebo where at least ten other people were being treated for various injuries.

One of Mirana's followers took off his bow tie, peeled his shredded jacket from his arms and took off his blood stained shirt. He flinched as she applied a cool, cream, which spelt suspiciously like something fashioned from oak root and llama ear wax, raven feathers and chalk dust, onto the cut on his neck.

"Tarrant Hightopp? Yes?" She asked in a cool but friendly voice as she layered the cream on his neck.

"Yes…."He muttered.

"That Alice…what a hero, I hear she was quite close to you…poor girl…" She began to use a different cream, this one was made from peppermint earwigs, a dead dragon's conscience, midday sunflowers and what smelt like enchanted birch tree leaves.

"Yes, close, Alice, girl," He replied, twitching a little when the woman began to rub the ointment into the slit in his arm.

"I'm Ivory," She looked at him through hazel eyes.

He looked at her frown when she went to put cream on his side wound.

"Hmmm….come, here and lay down so we can look at this," She pulled back a strand of hair. Her hair wasn't exactly white like all of the white queen's court, but more of a light clean, blonde, it was long, straight and currently tied up in a braid.

Tarrant let the woman lay him down on a stretcher. While she left to get something he was left to his own mind, again.

He closed his eyes. There she was again, falling…that scream…ringing out through his ears. Then the thud, as she hit the ground, still the scream ran through his ears, tormenting him.

He could take it no more.

He opened his eyes.

Ivory walked over to him, holding a pitcher of water and a cloth.

"We need to clean this up before we treat it, Tarrant," She knelt next to him and examined the gash in his snow white torso, near his ribs.

Tarrant cried out in pain when she rubbed away the dark, dried blood with the cloth, revealing a deep wound of fleshy pink, which contrasted against the powdery colour of his toned chest and stomach.

He felt nothing as Ivory began to rub the cream into the wound; no pain came from the dangerous, all the pain that overwhelmed him stemmed from the screaming. The dark hands tugging at his mind were a product of the death of the girl who was destined to save Underland, destined to save him.

Ivory seemed to look sorry for the hatter, "It hurts doesn't it? When someone you care for dies…you'll be okay, eventually."

Tarrant ignored her and let himself fall back into the depth off his memories.

The young woman wound a soft bandage around his stomach. She handed him his shirt and jacket, he slipped the shirt back on, sat up and cradled the jacket in silence.

"Go," He hissed at her when she didn't leave.

She nodded, nervously and scuttled off.

Slowly the people around him dispersed, to their homes or to the castle for rest and to honour the dead…by dusk he was the only one, left.

Propped up on one elbow he watched the sun set and he looked down at the jacket in his hands. He examined the torn sleeve silently. He reached to the pocket and pulled out a needle and thread. He made a stitch in the tear. He unpicked the stitch and folded the jacket back up.

He broke the needle in half and threw it to the ground. He choked on pain and tears as he flopped back down onto the bed, "This wasn't meant to happen…I wanted to be with her forever…I was going to ask her for her hand…why did she leave me?" He whispered out to the darkness.

"She had to do what all must when the reaper calls, you know that Tarrant," A voice whispered in his ear.

Hatter looked around. _Am I hearing voices? Well, it wouldn't surprise me…_

Then he saw it. A brilliant blue butterfly hovering before him. He had to take a minute for it to register but he knew who it was, "Absolem!" He frowned.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Tarrant, Alice was a wonderful girl but you're fine without her." Absolem reasoned, firmly.

Deep down, Tarrant knew that Absolem was only trying to help but something got the better of him and he yelled, "Why would you speak of Alice that way? How could you say that of someone who gave her life trying to save yours?You know nothing of my pain…NOTHING! NOTHING!" His breath was shaky and he could feel the tears pressing on his eyes.

Without another word, the butterfly flitted off, leaving Tarrant to cry in silence with the shadows.

The tears flowed slowly at first, steady like the drip of water from a funnel.

Tarrant didn't cry much, when horrible things happened he tried to block them out.

He'd spent what felt like forever building a high wall around himself…a wall which he'd never lowered…or tried not to, except for his closet friends…and yet, Alice had managed to get through the wall…of course she had….

Now as he laid crying, hoarsely into his jacket, the walls were down, he didn't think he'd ever be able to rebuild them…SHE'D turned them into a crumbled mess.

He screamed out her name, letting out the howling ghosts within, the ones that were still calling for him.

His scream turned back to tears…the tears slowed down…and eventually eased off.

He wiped his blurred green eyes and got up.

He pulled his old jacket back on and half-heartedly tied the bow around his neck back up.

He cursed at the pain underneath the bandage…the injuries that Stayne had left him with hurt badly…but his beautiful; Alice dying hurt him and cut him deeper than any sword ever could.

He slowly walked back to the White Queen's castle, and found himself in 'his' room. He never slept well but he was tired.

The hatter took off his shoes and socks and the bow he'd only just tied. He laid his jacket on the white armchair and took off his shirt.

He folded back the creamy covers of the bed and laid down.

He stared into the ceiling…he couldn't sleep.

Sometime, he fell asleep.

"Hatter!" She laughed wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Alice," He grinned back at her, pulling her against him.

She rested her head on his shoulder and he rocked her to and fro, both of them were still high on the ecstasy of one another.

She looked up at him, her eyes locked into his.

With a giggle she took his hat off.

"Alice Kingsleigh…"He played with the name and allowed his hand to run up and down her back, managing to pull her closer than she already was.

Her mouth turned to a smile as she leaned up a little and locked her lips into his.

He tilted his head back slightly, in happiness, when he heard a soft moan escape her mouth as he took her face in his hands and kissed her back, passionately.

"Tarrant…"She mumbled into his lips.

He gently bit her bottom lip and ran his tongue over the top one, playfully.

They them eventually broke off the amazing kiss. One side of the Hatter's mouth turned up into a loving, even sexy smile.

Alice rested her head against his chest, "Promise, me, that it'll stay like this forever…"

Tarrant stroked her yellow hair and tilted her face up, "It'll stay like this forever," He confirmed then softly kissed her lips again.

He woke up, sweating, blankets twisted around him, the image of Alice taking off his hat, the image of her kissing him…that kiss…it'd seemed so real…those images flew around in his mind.

Tarrant screamed as he realised that it'd all been a dream.

He bit down on his lip and tasted blood.

The wounds that he'd earned in battle would heal in a matter of weeks, months maybe…but the wound SHE'D given him…would take a life time.

It takes a lifetime to heal over a massive hole in your heart, when the hole is an abyss of lost love.

It takes a lifetime to forget when the memories are all you have.

It takes a lifetime to accept when SHE **WAS** your life, your hope, your world; your future….everything you ever wanted was her….and now you must accept that she's gone.

**A/N: Thank you! :D I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter because I enjoyed writing it! Please review, I really love and appreciate anything you have to say so please take the 30 seconds to share your opinion : ) **


	3. Reflections

Fall

Three: Reflection

**A/N: Once more, thanks to all my reviewers you guys inspire me!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Jasper's Future Wife for her Hatterlicious ideas. I don't own AIW but I do own: a shiny, plastic, yellow rock.**

Tarrant watched the sun rise into the mauve sky from his window. He hadn't gotten back to sleep the night before, he'd just laid awake, the voices…tormenting him.

"Sunrise…"He explored the word…convinced that without her, the sunrise was a mere illusion…there could be no sunrise without her.

To him, there wasn't. The days and nights were not defined…times didn't matter. There was no difference between the moon and the sun. SHE was the moon; she was his sun…his Alice.

There was a pounding knock at his door, "'Atter," cried a familiar voice.

Tarrant opened the door, still not wearing a shirt.

Mally looked up, "Tarrant…are you alright…I heard screamin' last night…"

He bent down and tried to smile for her sake…If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was upsetting Mallymkun.

"I'm fine," _I'm dying inside and I can't live without her!_

"Hmmm…..you're sure?" She crawled onto his arm and up, until she was sitting on his shoulder.

"I'm…sure…" _No, I'm not bloody sure! My love is dead!_

Mally nuzzled against his cheek, but of course he was numb and didn't feel a thing.

She played with her tail, "Well, I worry 'bout you, I don't want you to get hurt.

_I'm already HURT! _"Mallymkun…I'm alright…thank you." He took her off his shoulder and gently placed her to the ground.

"Okay…" She hesitated before scurrying back off.

Tarrant smiled vaguely, he didn't like lying to someone like Mally…but…it had to be done.

He closed the door and went back inside his room.

He missed his teapot…his nice long table…his chair…but no-one was permitted to leave Marmoreal for the time being…as it was considered too dangerous to leave.

The Hatter, as mad as he was, didn't like grubbiness…and his bloody shirt, lying across the armchair was thoroughly annoying him…Hep tried his best to push the horrible, graphic thoughts to the back of his mind and he picked up the garment.

With a sigh he left his room, still not wearing a shirt, or his hat.

The marble white walls of the castle seemed to whisper to him…calling for him too remember her…but he held firm and pushed the memory backward again and again.

"Tarrant Hightopp?" said a familiar voice.

He whipped his head around, swearing that he heard Alice.

The white queen's subject smiled at him…what was her name? Ivory?

"What's wrong?" She looked at his bewildered expression.

"Uh…girl…fez…uum…Oh, yes, the shirt. Do you have anything for it?" He frowned and held up the stained shirt.

"Hmm, I just might, come with me!" She led him into one of the laundry rooms where enchanted scrubbing boards were soaping themselves in silvery water.

She took the shirt from his hands, and looked around, " It'll take more than silver beet root and a few boards for this…Have you seen a Quigllymink anywhere?" She turned to Hatter.

He frowned and twisted a strand of his bright hair in thought, "Why…Ivory I have not seen a Quigllymink in years…I was unaware they still existed!"

"Oh, yes they have covens everywhere…rare but common...if you know what I mean. Just a few scales would be perfect…Oh, yes I know…I'll check the kitchens, perhaps Thackery will know where they are. I'll be back, wait here!" She smiled and gracefully swept from the room.

"Perhaps." Tarrant sat down on the blue and white chequered floor.

The air was cold but his soul was colder.

The scrubbing boards were loud but the screaming in his head was louder.

His shirt was stained…but his memories were ruined.

Every time he thought of her…the screaming was there…it was there all the time anyway…

Ivory was clutching a few golden scales from a Quigllymink, "Tarrant?" She woke him from his open-eyed night-mare.

"Alice…teapot…"He murmured before looking up at the young woman, who took the shirt from him, again.

"Here, just a moment….these scales have already been treated…they're ready to use," She stood over one of the many large cauldrons full of bubbling silver liquid.

She dumped the shirt straight in and put her hands in after it, not flinching at all from the boiling liquid.

Tarrant saw Alice flash before his eyes as Ivory sprinkled the scales into the pot.

SCREAMING

BLACK

SCREAMING

CRYING

GOODBYE

I LOVE YOU

"See?" Ivory held up his shirt, it was clean, perfect…better than it'd been in years!

"Good, thank you," He noted that it was still wet.

As if she'd read his mind, Ivory flicked her hand over it, and it dried instantly.

She handed it to him and he slipped it over his creamy skin, without doing the buttons up.

"How are those wounds coming along?" She nodded down at the bandage.

"Fine," He swallowed.

"Tarrant…are you alright? From what I hear you've been through a lot of late."

The hatter twirled his pin cushion ring in his hands, "It's alright…I'm fine,"

_Been through a lot? ALICE DIED! _

_Of course I've been through a lot…she's gone, I'll never hear her sweet voice again, never hear her call me 'hatter' like she always did. I'll never see her run to me, or have her laugh with me. I'll never kiss her stunning lips or grip her hands._

_I'm never going to be able to be myself again…nothing is real anymore…now that she is gone…_

"Okay," She smiled and turned around, back to the cauldrons.

Tarrant exhaled through the gap in his teeth and left.

He had to admit he felt slightly better now.

He was soon back in his room, staring into the depths of a mirror.

Tarrant looked at himself in the reflection.

His wild, orange hair seemed to dance around his empty face. His shadowy cheeks mocked his pale skin and his brilliant green eyes flickered around almost without his control.

He looked down then looked back up.

His reflection was gone.

Alice was wearing a dress fashioned from a bright blue tutu skirt, a light blue satin, sleeveless bodice, which clung around her chest, he top of her wonderful blonde hair was tied up and twisted, artistically on top of her head, allowing the rest to tumble down her back.

She wore no shoes but there were black ribbons going from her ankles to her thighs.

There were leathery blue and silver flowers sitting in her hair in random spaces.

Tarrant smiled at what he saw inside the mirror.

Alice's arms were covered in a silvery net from elbow to wrist and several, tiny, shiny, golden pocket watches hung from her shoulder.

She turned to the person next to her. A red haired man, with a long nose…

Hatter thought back…Alice had spoken of him…before the frabjous day, when they'd gotten time alone.

His name was Hamish, he'd proposed to Alice.

Tarrant couldn't take his sad eyes from the mirror.

Hamish leaned forward and kissed Alice.

Tarrant waited for her to push him away.

She didn't.

She kissed him back.

He could vaguely hear their voices.

Hamish said two words inaudibly and fiddled with Alice's hand for a moment.

The latter then spoke the same words, "I do."

He grabbed the closet thing, possible, his scissors from his pocket, and then he screamed a scream of inside pain and anger.

The glass shards went everywhere, like a frenzy of snowflakes in a winter storm.

Tarrant watched the image of Alice and Hamish disappear around him.

Inside he knew it was merely his own mind playing tricks on him, but the voices told him what to do…smash it.

The hatter couldn't feel the icy tears meander down his face. When you're in that much pain, the tears make no difference.

He looked around at the shattered mirror, it was like him.

The glass had once been whole but was now broken.

It'd once been shined but now was dull.

It had been loved but now lay forgotten.

It had been important but was now insignificant.

The mirror once reflected wonders and joy, but now only showed pain and loss.

"Alice…I need you…please come back…"He bit through his lip again, drawing blood as he failed to hold back the tears, failed to restrain the whispers telling him to cry and give up.

He sat on his armchair, and repeated one of the words the voices had said, "Give up…"

He shrugged.

_Giving up…easy._

_Holding on…not so easy._

_How do you hold on when there's nothing to hold on too?_

_When you have no choice but to give into the screams._

With that, Tarrant Hightopp, picked up his sharpest scissors from the floor, dusted them a little and ran the blade right down the inside of his arm.

He cried as he did so, but not because it hurt…not from pain…from HER. She was laughing in his head, saying goodbye, promising to not forget him.

He ran the blade through the same spot, deepening the slash, sending his pain further as more blood ran out of his arm.

The sickly, red blood flowed like a spider's web over his arm, and then twisted around the other side, continuing to branch off into other tiny streams, like a river on a parchment white map of his skin.

Tarrant Hightopp let his arm flop back down, he dropped the scissors whispered, "…I love you…" To the empty room and the broken mirror shards on the floor, then, somehow, he fell into a black, dreamless sleep.

**A/N: Like? Not Like? Tell me please! No more updates until I have 15 reviews! Until then,**

**Drivenbyrevenge.**


	4. Ache

Fall

Four: Ache

**A/N: Wow, you guys review fast. Thanks so much! I don't own AIW but I do own an ultimate AIW themed party hat that I designed and made (it has a teacup on top)! :D Put a fair bit of effort into this so enjoy!**

"Oh, Tarrant…the events seemed to have drained the life from you…quite literally!" Massive eyes looked down onto the dried blood patterning the sleeping man's arm.

The Hatter woke up, "Chess," He frowned at the cat basking on thin air before him, as if supported by an invisible hammock.

"Mr Hightopp, if I may be so bold, would you like me too heal your…injury?" Chessur nodded at the bloody arm.

Tarrant looked at the glass covered floor, and sheepishly held out his arm.

Chess breathed light frosty blue breath onto the wound and from no-where, pulled a satin, pearl blue scarf which he then wrapped around it.

"That's better." The cat said.

Tarrant frowned slightly at the mess of the floor.

"Hmmmm,"Said Chessur, "Let me get that for you."

Doing his magic again, the cat conjured up a rag and in a matter of minutes had swept up the glass.

"Now," The feline drifted up to Tarrant's eye level and continued, "Do you want to talk?"

"Huh?" Tarrant rolled down the sleeve of his shirt, and picked up his hat.

"About…Alice?"

"No." _YES!_

"You're sure?"

"Yes."_NO!_

"Very Well…good day," Chess drifted through the door, leaving Tarrant to himself.

The Mad Hatter didn't get much time alone, less than fifteen minutes later the cat drifted back in.

"Tarrant, you should get dressed properly and come out, they're planning, the…uh…funeral," Chessur tapped his shoulder.

Tarrant's big green eyes glazed over.

SCREAMING

FALLING

SCREAMING

GOODBYE

"Oh…"The hatter frowned.

Chess smiled, "They expect you to be there."

The cat disappeared, again.

Tarrant's shirt was fine, so over the top, he put his blue jacket. He found his ribbon and turned it into a bow tie, dusted down his trousers, put on his boots and then…fixed his hat unto his head.

With a sigh, the man exited his room and began walking down the hall, to find, where they were making the plans.

It didn't take him long to find a large group of people congregated in a big room, around a table. No guesses for who was on the table…

He walked in, shaking a little at the thought of seeing Alice dead again.

The White Queen's court made up most of the crowd, Around the table, were The White Queen, who had a few tears queued up on her cheeks, Mallymkun, sobbing loudly, McTwisp, who was shaking feverishly and looked as if he was going to faint, The Chessur cat, who had his typical look of curiosity over his face…yet even it was dulled and slightly overcome with sadness.

Absolem, the butterfly, was hovering at head level, a mournful look in his eye.

Tarrant joined the party.

He looked down at Alice. They'd taken off the armour and now she was wearing a thin, white, knee length dress, her hair was tumbling down her shoulders. Her arms hadn't been crossed over her chest, but simply placed by her sides, her face…it was perfect.

Her eyes were closed, her mouth was in the same half-smile it'd been in when she'd said good-bye to him…once again Tarrant couldn't help thinking that she looked like she would wake up any minute, and demand to know why she was on a table.

Her skin, was like milk, white and soft. He reached out to touch her face.

His hand brushed against her cheek…it was smooth, he ran his hand down her face, gently, desperate to scream at her to wake up…but he didn't, he just gritted his teeth and held back the tears.

"Alright, I shall call this meeting to order," The White Queen bit her lip.

Tarrant pulled his arm back hastily.

Mc Twisp, who was standing on one end of the table, away from Alice, unfurled a script and began reading extremely quickly.

"Alice Kingsleigh, deceased as of the Frabjous day, brought down in battle, by the Jabberwocky. Now everyone if you could, please check these details as I read," He took a breath and continued, "Female?"

The white queen rolled her eyes, "Obviously,"

Mc Twisp nodded, "Blonde hair?"

Mally stroked a strand, "Beautiful blonde hair…"

He asked another question, "White skin?"

Chess smiled down fondly, " Like snow."

The rabbit looked back at his list, "Br—brown eyes?"

Tarrant let out a sob as he gently opened her eyes again. Yes, they **were **brown, he already knew that, they looked up at him, just the same as when she'd said goodbye, but this time they were the eyes of a corpse, there was no life in them…no muchness, no Alice.

He gently closed them again, "Brown eyes." He answered shortly.

The hatter, kept his gaze on Alice's beautiful face as Mc Twisp continued.

"Alright, Alice Kingsleigh, female, white skin, blonde hair, brown eyes?"

"Check." The butterfly said.

"I'll proceed then," the white rabbit said, "Funeral to be held within two days, EVERYONE shall be present, music, to be supplied by Chess, if he wishes to play his violin, do you support this, Chess?"

"I do." The cat kept his face straight.

McTwisp looked at Mirana, "Your, majesty, being the most highly ranked person, you will do the blessings and speech….Tarrant," He turned to the Hatter.

Tarrant, who had been wondering when Chess had been a violin player, kept his eyes on Alice, "What?"

"You can do a eulogy of your own…If you wish…"

Tarrant gave it a moment of thought, "Alright," he stroked Alice's hair.

"Now, not to sound informal, but what shall she wear?"

"I'll do that too." The hatter let a tear drip onto Alice's cheek. He wiped it off.

"Hmm?" Mc Twisp looked at him.

Hatter continued, "I'll make the dress."

"Very well," Mc Twisp continued to read from the scroll, "The deceased, Miss Kingsleigh will be laid to rest in Marmoreal's cemetery, in a grave at location 4,D. The grave stone inscription shall read as follows, 'RIP, Alice Kingsleigh, a brave warrior, who fell defending Underland,' Her plaque will be marbled white and have an angel above it. Any objections?"

A chorus of 'No's filled the room, tainted by the Hatter's voice, "Yes…the inscription's not good enough…she deserves more than a standard good-bye, she gave her life trying to save ours…" 

Mc Twisp frowned, "All right, I'm sure we can re-draft that. Anything else?"

"No."

"Good," The Rabbit rolled up the paper again.

"I shall now draw this meeting to a close, Thank you, everyone," Mirana spoke softly, looking down at Alice's body

Slowly, the people left, until there were only two left, Ivory and the Hatter. He didn't notice her behind him.

He leaned on the table and supported Alice's limp head in his arms.

"Alice…" He whispered down at her.

One by one, they fell, tiny little bubbles of sorrow, that collided with her parchment skin and exploded, running down her face as if they belonged to her and not him.

Ivory stepped forward, "Tarrant?"

He didn't move, he just watched the tears patterning Alice's face.

"Must be hard…I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Tarrant," Ivory turned and left.

The Hatter, ran his hands down her face, remembering everything she'd ever said to him…the unspoken love they'd shared.

He leaned down and kissed her cold lips.

He swallowed back even more tears and walked out.

That night Hatter was sitting in his room, on the bed wearing pants and his shirt, his shoes were on the floor and the rest of his clothing was dumped on the chair.

The window was open and he found himself staring out at the moon, it seemed so happy, with the stars…it wasn't lonely, it was mocking him.

He sighed, and closed his curtain.

Tarrant, lied down and tried to fall asleep.

SCREAMING

FALLING

He opened his eyes.

_It's no use…I want her so badly…I NEED her so badly…Alice…_

Somehow, he fell asleep.

They were in the Hatter's room at Marmoreal.

Alice and Tarrant were sitting on the bed, Tarrant wearing his pants and shirt, Alice in a light blue and white, dress, it was tight and hugged around her body. The skirt finished just above her knees, it was classy, not trashy.

She leans forward and pulls him closer. He runs his hands around her waist and they kiss. He runs his tongue across her mouth and she parts her lips, letting his tongue flick over hers.

They break away and look at each other.

"Alice…" Tarrant smiles at her.

"I love you, Tarrant," She leans forward and kisses him, her hand tangled through his messy orange hair.

"I love you, Alice," He laughed.

"Hmm?" She bit her lip and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, then the second, then the third…until she'd undone them all.

She pulled the shirt off him, revealing his chest, it was white and pale but toned and…perfect.

Alice wrapped herself around him as he undid the corset of her dress, he pulled it off and she wriggled out of the dress.

For a moment he stared at her. Her neck, her creamy pale breasts, that beautiful slim waist, her legs…those amazing legs.

She leaned forward and fiddled with his pants, she was kissing him at the same time, "Tarrant…oh…."

Her warm tongue inside his mouth…it was wonderful, "Alice…Alice…"

She let out a cry of frustration and he undid his pants himself.

They waited a moment before pulling them down, their mouths still locked together.

Her hands, still entwined in his hair.

One of his arms was around her waist pulling her closer to him, the other hand rested around one of her breasts.

She pushed down his pants and moaned softly as his stiffened penis rubbed against her, begging to be let in. She twisted her legs around him and moaned.

"Alice!" The Hatter blinked his eyes open and shakily looked down at his naked body, his hand on his cock.

"Alice…" He repeated.

He was alone, in his room, no Alice.

The naked man took his hand away and let out a lonely sob.

He ran a hand through his hair, wondering what evil thing was cursing him with these bittersweet dreams.

He wiped a sticky tear from his cheek and bit his lip, in pain…inner pain…that inner ache.

That inner ache for her.


	5. Chessur

Fall

Chapter 5: Chessur

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews =] Your support is amazing.**

Tarrant finished getting dressed, a lot of things around the court had to be seen to and the funeral had been postponed, it was to be held within a week.

It'd been three days since the planning of it; Tarrant hadn't dreamed at all those nights…he found this rather odd. He hated the nightmares…hated seeing her again…well no he didn't hate seeing her, he hated waking up and knowing it was only a dream.

Although, not dreaming about her was just as bad as dreaming about her…he longed for those amazing dreams…they were so real, but they hadn't returned.

He closed the creamy curtain and walked out the door.

Not even sure where he was going he set out to find some materials.

Before he could get halfway down the somewhat daunting hall a certain cat floated up to him.

Stretching his legs out on thin air Chess yawned, "Ah…Tarrant…how are you?" He continued without giving Tarrant a chance to answer, "You look worn…out. Hmm but I think I know where you can find some materials for Alice's burial dress."

The hatter frowned. He didn't remember even mentioning what he was looking for.

The cat continued, "Come along."

Without a word the hatter followed his old friend. Friend? Well Chessur was trusted, but had certainly done a few things to anger him in the past…though through it all he supposed, yes. Chessur was a **friend…sort of.**

He followed the cat down hall after endless hall. Which was a very hard task as the cat kept evaporating and reappearing in various places, each time glancing over his stripy shoulder and enquiring such things as, "Coming?" and, "Hurry up…you're rather slow aren't you?" or, "How long do you plan to take, Tarrant Hightopp?"

To each of these the hatter would murmur something under his breath in a Scottish accent and continue walking, trying to keep a closer eye on the disappearing feline.

After what seemed a long time of confusion for the hatter they reached a massive room. All decorated in the palest pink and cream patterns, the walls and floorboards for example were tiled like an a mazing chess board, the room itself was full of different types of material every type and shade the Hatter could dream of and in the middle of the room, sitting at a spinning wheel, spinning shimmery blue threads, was the one person that seemed to be popping up everywhere he was going…so much that it was beginning to seem more than a coincidence.

He walked over to the spinning wheel and watched the pretty blue thread unravel itself in her hands.

She looked up, "Tarrant…what are you looking for?"

The Hatter turned around, half expecting Chess to answer for him…but the cat was gone…again.

Tarrant shook his head, "Uh…Blue…for…fez…"

"Are you alright?" Ivory snipped off the thread and wound it into a ball which she added to a growing pile of others and kept working.

"Yes…"_NO!_

"Now what did you say you wanted?"

The Hatter cleared his throat…, "Uh…something blue…lace, net, satin, some thread…maybe silver velvet that type of thing...for…"He choked trying to force out HER name.

"Alice," Ivory nodded, "Each shade of blue is on the far left, next to the greens…I'd help you myself but now that I've finished this thread I must get onto this pink," She began spinning again...though the hatter hadn't noticed her fetch the rose pink woollen strands that were now becoming threads.

He frowned for a moment before walking to the left side of the room.

Despite his severely sad mood, his green eyes lit up at such a sight…oh all the hats he could make with these materials… but he shook his head, remembering that he was here for HER and began selecting the most beautiful roles of fabric he could find.

He moved along to the silver and chose a single role of velvet…it was stunning all the same though.

Dragging the materials, he walked to the laces and nets and chose several cards of lace and one piece of intricate black net.

The Hatter looked over what he'd chosen carefully before dropping them rather noisily on the floor, which caused Ivory to make a rather large knot in her thread which she had to cut out, and he went over to the rows of threads, whereupon he picked out several shades of blue, black and silver.

He sat on the tiled floor and began unrolling the fabrics, he took out his scissors and trimmed enough off each one, until he had a large pile of different sized materials in front of him. He dragged the roles back to their shelves and then gathered up his things.

He nodded a thank you to Ivory who smiled at him until he walked outside…she regretted doing such as once again, it ruined her thread…she snipped it and continued.

Tarrant swallowed back the tears that seemed to plague him constantly since the so called 'frabjous' day.

Just as he turned to get back to his room, Chess appeared.

"You again…" Tarrant whispered to himself and rolled his eyes.

"Hatter…how are you?"

"Fine." _Shit._

He continued walking, being continuously trailed by Chess who was rambling about random things, things that were rather beginning to annoy Tarrant.

The hatter reached his door, gave a nod to Chess and walked in. After sighing in relief of being rid of the cat he sat down, only to have the cat float through his door, sporting a large grin.

Running his teeth over his lips Tarrant stood up, "Do you not have elsewhere to be? Must you hinder me every single moment of this day?"

Chess opened his mouth to speak but the Hatter continued, "NO! DON'T SAY A THING! Seriously, of all the tiresome days I've ever had, this one tops them all…why? Because from the moment I got up I've had  
YOU in my ear nattering about rubbish! IF I COULD WISH FOR SOMEONE I'D NEVER HAVE TO SEE AGAIN…IT'D BE YOU!" His voice lowered, deepened and turned…Scottish, "STUPID, BLOODY, ANNOYING CAT!"

The hatter watched the cat's eyes turn sorrowful as he choked out, "I was merely trying to be nice…"

Tarrant saw a few tears creep down the cat's misty face and began to speak before the cat continued.

He sniffed back the tears, "The one thing I don't understand about you Tarrant is how you think it's alright for you to be depressed and upset, when people try to support you, you brush them off, never realising that everyone has SUFFERED FROM THIS, not just YOU. You think you're the only one with emotions? You selfish hatter, you're not!"

Chess began to grow angry, "Of course…I suppose no-one would expect me to have emotions…I'm just that weird looking evaporating cat after all…Through all of this, that's all I've been, I do my best…in fact all day  
I've been trailing you trying to make you a little happier…Tarrant.

Overall I've grown tired of this, of everything and yet I'm still here offering everything I can give to anyone. I don't ask for anything in return. No one sits with me and asks me how I feel…but then again it's not expected is it? No. So, Mr Hightopp When you tell me I'm 'annoying' and that you 'never want to see me again' Remember who healed up the cuts in your arm, who drank countless cups of tea with you and listened to the one thing you wanted to talk about all those years. Alice. Remember who showed her to your table in the first place. You might just get your wish Tarrant, maybe one day you'll wake up to look for me…but I won't be here anymore…maybe if you need a friend, one who's always be there and never betrayed you…when you need my advice, perhaps Chessur the annoying cat won't come running to your aid."

"I'm sorry…" The Hatter looked down.

Still rather offended and upset the Cheshire cat, who could feel icy tears running down his face, "So am I…believe me…sorry I ever tried to help you…"

With that Chessur floated gracefully through the door.

Tarrant slumped down in his chair, and choked out the tears that had been pestering him all day. Whether they were for Alice or Chess he didn't know…nor did he care.

Still one thing was for sure…he'd let Chess down…Chess had tried to comfort and make him feel better but Tarrant had only made everything worse.

**A/N: Hopefully this makes up for the last chapter…which wasn't very good.**

**Reviews are massively appreciated. See the button down there? It's the review link. CLICK IT. Spend thirty seconds of your day to brighten someone else's and give a good review : ) Please. **

Ha  
HGHHHHH


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